I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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