you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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