he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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