we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
