It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
