So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Less talking, more tequila
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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