Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
