Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text

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(+26): View more from

Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY

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(614): View more from Ohio

So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.

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(269): View more from Michigan

P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(651): View more from Minnesota

And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.

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(407): View more from Florida

It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown

(336): View more from North Carolina

Oh my god

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(925): View more from California

Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?

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(360): View more from Washington

No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules

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