do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter