I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.