A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
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got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
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do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras