I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.