Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
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Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
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Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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