Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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