dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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