Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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