Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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