guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize