Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
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