idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize