i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
