I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
