I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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