My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
