Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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