I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
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where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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