Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
pray to the hookup gods
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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