Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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