maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
