I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize