in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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