i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
