Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
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i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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