we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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