dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
