I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
