please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
