Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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