I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
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I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
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So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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