im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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