so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize