I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
