Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
