seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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