im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
