Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
