seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
