ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
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