I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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