I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
