i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
