Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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