I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize