FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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