so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
