Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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