I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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