I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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