I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I love you. Go after that dick
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
