lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize