So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
